So, we've gone from a Futurama movie, to a porn documentary, and now to a mid 90s British kids movie I've never heard of. Why do I have a feeling this is going to be my best entry yet?
Less than 90 seconds into the movie we get a nice lingering almost pornographic shot of nothing but this kid's Converse All Stars. I don't know what this movie's about, but I'm already lovin it! Turns out he's getting dropped off at a boys boarding school. By the driver. Without his parents there, immediately this made me think the parents were shit parents. Turns out his dad is in the hospital with an illness that we either never found out or that I forgot already. His mom isn't home because she's "doing shoots" all the time. I read into this that mommy does porn, just my guess though. Also, this movie is so fucking British isn't not even funny. The kid who 5 minutes in was obviously gonna be the "asshole jock" stereotype is a jock star because of cricket and tennis.
6:36 in and we get our second product placement of the movie! This time for I Can't Believe It's Not Butter. I've decided that I'm going to keep a tracker of these, and point out how many there are. Ok the sign outside the school clearly said it was for kids 7-12, but so many of these kids in this pillow fight scene look 14-15 at least. Am I nitpicking? Obviously, but I have to since the movie has shown me NO SIGNS OF PLOT, other than "Kids are dicks, yo."
So, it turns out our lead character, Magnus Gove is getting picked on and bullied by basically everybody in the school. He's also a giant bitch though, so he pretty much deserves it. He eventually starts to get on the other kids' good sides when he shows the kids how to cook some food that they like, since the boarding school only serves uber-healthy foods. Magnus and the other kids at the school form the "Scoffing Club" and feast after lights out at the school, hence the title of the movie. The majority of the movie is based around the kids sneaking around at night to cook, trying not to get caught by the chef in the kitchen or their teacher, played awesomely by Christopher Lee.
One other thing I should touch on is the very odd romantic subplot going on between Gove and the daughter of their teacher, who, according to Wikipedia, was 21 years old when this movie came out. It'd be one thing if he just had a crush on the older girl, but it's also played where she shows interest in him as well. Also, I guess British kids movies get away with alot more than American ones do. All sorts of sexual innuendos between the teachers, and a scene where the daughter is down to her bra and dancing around.
Despite the creepy subplot though, I actually had a REALLY good time with this movie. It was really well written and really fun and lighthearted kids stuff for the most part. There are certainly scenes that show more depth and I think they excel because of the change in pace that they bring. I literally groaned when I saw this come up on my recommendations list, but I'm glad it did. I might go back at some point and bring it down to 4 stars, because it's really close in the middle, but as of right now I'd have to give it 5/5 stars.
Oh yeah, I forgot to add this earlier. Final product placement count: 8. 8 different times. That's actually less than I thought with how it started out.
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